Restart

I'm planning the restart to my new lifestyle. I was doing really well and then like most of the world fell off the wagon a couple of weeks ago. I am still attending Weight Watchers and getting back to boxing after a few months off. I normally take this time of year to reflect on the year and where I have been and what I hope for in the next year. So this blog post is probably more for me than for others enjoyment. Besides, I'm pretty sure I have lost most of my followers.

This year has been one of changes. Not major changes, but as I stated before, lifestyle changes. I finally found a way to exercise that I enjoy, boxing. What I will never understand about this is that it is the hardest thing I have ever done as far as exercise goes. What I have learned is that is makes all the difference to be doing something that I feel confident doing and not feel bad about myself during the workout. Also have support from friends to encourage me to go and while I'm there. Just like in most disciplines having accountability is a necessity. So just knowing that a friend is expecting you to meet them there at 7 pm after work or at 9 am on a Saturday makes you want to be there for them and not let them down.

I also joined Weight Watchers in the spring. I have done WW before, but they have a new program now that make so much sense to me and makes it so easy to follow. (This doesn't mean I have been following it all the time). It has encouraged me to eat more fruit and veggies and to be aware of everything I do eat. I go to the meetings at work. I believe this makes all the difference in the world for me. As I'm attending meetings with those that I spend the majority of my week with, some of which I each lunch with. So again this goes back to accountability. I know this is going to sound crazy, but something that has made the difference for as far as tracking goes is technology. I have a WW app on my phone so no matter where I'm at I can track what I'm eating or calculate if it is worth the bite. As my leader tells us "If you bite it, your write it." I have learned to track even on the bad days. I have learned what I can eat at some of my favorite restaurants without blowing the day.

So what has been the result of all these changes? I have lost 23 lbs since the beginning of the year. I still have a lot to go, but I know I'm doing it the right way. Slow and steady wins the race. I'm also learning what to do so when I am done losing I won't just gain it back as I will continue eating the same foods. I'm learning now to enjoy foods I have never eaten before. I have a Spaghetti Squash baking in the oven as I type this. They tell me it can replace pasta. And even better it is 0 points alone.

I have also taken sometime this year to reflect on what is in my left that causes me more stress or anxiety that is not good or necessary. After 24 hours in the hospital for stress and anxiety you realize it is more than just something you should do, but need to do. As I look toward next year I'm only going to hold one office in a group outside of work. This is very exciting for me. I'm looking forward to getting involved in my church in ways that feed me and fulfill me as I give.

As I'm almost fully recovered from my hip surgery I am so excited to have that behind me and know that 10 years worth of pain is gone. Prior to this I honestly thought I was going to be in pain for the rest of my life.

As always I'm looking forward to my travels for 2012. Next year I will celebrate my 10 year anniversary at work. This means I earn 5 more days of vacation, which gives me 30 for the year. I am taking a long weekend with my mom and older sister in January to go to a place to scrapbook for the weekend. I am going on the annual KLOVE Cruise the first week of February. I will go to Grand Rapids, MI (AKA Frozen Tundra) for work for 3 weeks in February and March. There is a family reunion with my mom's side of the family in San Antonio in October. And we will see what else may happen.

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Control. What's that?

So this could turn out more random than I'm planning. I have learned over the years the best way I process and deal with things is to just write and get what is spinning through my head out. So I'm sitting here on my couch attempting to position my right leg in just the right position that doesn't hurt. The pain in my hip this week has been nearly unbearable. I'm counting down the days to surgery. A week from now I will be at my parents house, laying as comfortably as I can in their spare bed.

As most of you know I like to have at least an idea of how things are going to go. I wouldn't call myself a control freak, but I'm not the most spontaneous of the bunch either. I have learned so far though this process of surgery that we now live in a world that surgeons are so terrified of law suits that they are as vague as possible when giving information. So I don't have a grand idea of what to expect after surgery. What I do know is that "everyone recovers differently." I think what I would like to know is what generally happens. Will I be able to at least lay comfortably? When will I be able to walk? Will I really only be out of work for 2 weeks? When will I be able to function on my own again and come home? How long will I have to go to physical therapy? When do I get to kick a boxing bag again? Yes my doctor did answer all the questions he could. But they basically just tell you "everyone is different." Well, no duh.

I sure hope I don't go stir crazy. I have all 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls to watch, books downloaded on my Kindle, magazines to read, and I have a project to work on if I get to a point I can do that.

Thanks for your prayers. My surgery is at 1:00 on Thursday. (I'm kinda concerned about being hungry as I won't be able to eat after midnight.)

Fighting Discouragement

A quick update on my life

Well, for those of you that don't know I have been doing Weight Watchers for about 3 months. I have lost my first 5% of my weight. Trying to stay focused through the hot summer months has been challenging the past couple of weeks. I have decided having a great leader and going to meetings is what is helping me be successful. I also have some great support for my family and friends. I go to meetings at work, so I have the support at work also.

I have also been boxing since April. I am loving it. I love that I have found a type of exercise that I love and only have to do it 3-4 times a week and it is only an hour committment.

So here is where the discouragement comes in. As many of you know I have been having hip pain for many (over 8) years. They diagnosed me as having bursitis and basically was told I would just deal with the pain and hope that exercising would work the pain away. After I started boxing I thought it was getting better, however it has been worse for the last month or so. I finally went to the doctor and told him I was sick of being in pain every day of my life and I was too young. I have also lost some rotation of my hip. He decided we should do and MRI. I got the results today. I have a torn Labrum. This is the ligament that is between the top of my femur and bottom of the hip joint. Which is the exact area they thought I had the bursitis. So now I move on to a specialist. I plan to hopefully be able to just tell him that I'm sick of trying everything besides surgery and it hasn't worked. So I'm really just ready for surgery, even though I know this means I will have to stop boxing for some time.

Please pray that I'm able to keep my focus on getting healthy even through these bumps in the road.

What's that funk?

So overdue isn't any where near the right word to use for how long it has been since I posted to the blog. Since I last posted I have been on a cruise, to Vegas, to St. Louis and spent some time at home. So you would think I have a lot to say, but not sure that I do. I'm totally attacking this post with no idea about what is going to come out. So this may be more of something I should have kept to myself, but you all are lucky enough (or unlucky enough) to get to read it. I'm not even sure if anyone still checks this. This past week I was in a major funk. I think the funk has been building for a few weeks, but it hit the high point this week. Not sure how to really describe the funk, but I just was kinda grumpy and my patience was pretty much nil. I account it all to filling my life with so much that I haven't had time to breath. Besides work, I have been pretty busy with church stuff. I love my church and church family. We are currently in a big transition with our sanctuary under renovation and some additional areas in the church. As chair of the Christian Education board this puts me in charge additional items on top of our normal duties on the board. We also currently have an interim Pastor. I can't tell you how much I am enjoying him at the church. He really has made me think a lot and just reflect on my life. During Lent I have been going to a small group at his house with some others to just go deeper in to the sermon's and I have just really enjoyed the time. I spent last weekend in St. Louis. It was great to spend sometime with one of the college girls driving there. Just catching up and seeing where she is in her life. The most exciting part of the weekend was that we got to see our good friend David on Saturday, just 3 days after his double lung transplant. Talk about inspiration. The moments this week that my funk got the worst I just thought about him and realized my life isn't really so horrible, so I need to just suck it up. Then I spent some time with my family and the kids, prior to driving back to KC with my mom. Always enjoy spending time with them. The beginning of March I went on a spontaneous trip to Vegas with Tiffany. We walked a lot, saw a Cirque de Soilei show KA, ate and shopped. It was great to spend the time with her. I love having people in my life that I can be my true self all the time and they love me for me. And we can just pick up where we left off. We also played a lot of penny slots. Speaking of friends that you can just pick up where you left off it has been great to see some of the Kearney Girls more regularly. There are 4 of us living in the KC area now and we have been very intentional to keep the 3rd Saturday of the month to spend time with each other. Again great friends that love you for who you are and there for you any time. I'm also looking forward to seeing Katie next weekend. She keeps me grounded and understands so many of the struggles I have in my life. Such a great sounding board. She is one of those friends that you can just call and you don't have to leave a message cause you just wanted her to know you were thinking about her. We spend most weeks just playing phone tag, but we know we are thinking of each other. This week I have two things I'm really looking forward to. I'm going to Lawrence on Wednesday with my friend Kristi to go to a concert to hear Matt Wertz. He was in high school with us and is such a great singer. Look him up. Then Thursday is girls night to the theatre. We are going to see West Side Story. I'm so looking forward to the time with the girls and the show as I have never seen it. Let's see what else? Oh yes, the cruise. I had a great time with a new cruising friend, Linda. Another great friend. The new stop we added this year was Key West. I loved Key West and look forward to going back next year. We already booked for next year. So you would think I had traveled enough this year, but I have a few more trips in me. I will be going to Wichita in May to visit Mike and Liz (and to get Tiffany a Cranky Turkey Sandwich). Then I believe this summer Katie and I will be traveling to Colorado for a relaxing time together. So please keep me in your prayers as I'm attempting to get out of my funk. I think the final straw this week was a visit to the doctor at which time he decided to put me on blood pressure meds. Yes this was the kick in the butt I really needed to get going in the right direction. Also my hip that has been giving my issues for over 10 years is now hurting more than ever. We may have to do an MRI and not sure what is going to come from that, but not looking forward to it. Thanks for listening (reading).

Reflecting

This week has been a lot of reflecting for me. I found out on Tuesday evening that a former high school and college classmate decided to take their life. This was not someone I was really close with, but we had mutual friends that were close. When I first heard the news I was just in shock. This person I always remembered with a smile on their face and a friend to everyone. Thanks to technology I learned very quickly that he had touched the lives of so many in our class. I went to the services yesterday and again, just amazing how many people were there to pay their respects to the family. Then after the services we had an impromptu high school reunion. It was so great to see after 15 years and such a tragic event we can all get together and put behind us all that happened in high school and just enjoy each other company.

So as I have been reflecting I have been trying to put my life in perspective. What is important? What is worth stressing over? When is it time to wave the white flag and ask for help?

Then at church today the service was focused on depression and how real it is and that being sad is true emotion and is okay. However we need to be aware of when our (or someone else's) sadness turns into depression. Then know it is imperative and okay to ask for help when/if you have reached that time and need help. Remembering that even Jesus wept (John 11:35).

So, I'm not really sure where I'm going with all this, just thought it was good to share. I hope you are able to spend some time this week putting life in perspective.

On a lighter note - I can not tell you how excited I am to go to Manhattan next week. I looking forward to a road trip with some dear friends. I know there will be many laughs, possibly some tears, and many memories made and remembered. So glad to have true friends in life that even if we don't see each other regularly we can just pick up where we left off when we do. Love you KG.